Motherhood: How God trained me to embrace the proverbial elephant

elephantWhen I was asked to speak at church about my experiences of motherhood, I heartily agreed. I was asked to speak this Mother’s Day which is just around the corner. Although I was given plenty of advanced notice, I continue to find myself at a loss for words. How do I condense eighteen years of being a mother into a ten minute homily? What does God want me to share with other moms? How do I explain motherhood?

“How do you eat an elephant?” One bite at a time. This saying is used in the business world to help explain short term versus long term goal setting. If you see the proverbial elephant as a larger than life barrier to achieving your goal, you need to eat it slowly – one bite at a time. If you see the elephant as an older wiser ally, you’d better not eat it. You’d better feed and nurture it – allowing it to grow daily. Let’s face it, eating an elephant one bite at a time would be exhausting anyway. Why does the elephant exists? Does it mean you harm? Is it in your way?

If motherhood is the elephant, did I eat away at mine or did I nourish it and allow myself to become stronger than I knew was possible? Neither. God chose an alternative path for me and my elephant to take. God showed me how to climb up on a ladder and sit atop my elephant as its rider. I Switched it up and learned to view the world of motherhood through my own unique perspective. I allowed God to use my elephant for good, not evil.  I dismissed all human expectations and knowledge about how to live with or destroy my elephant. I surrendered my elephant over to God and allowed God to keep it alive and well. After all, God gave me the elephant and trusted me with it. It somehow came in a packaged deal with my kids.

My elephant was especially large and difficult to train as its rider. I had to take many riding lessons. Sometimes I was thrown to the ground and didn’t know if I would survive. Other times, I got off the elephant and walked beside him out of sure fatigue. Some days, my husband tried to ride the elephant. He kept it on the right path, but he often fought with the elephant or wanted to eat it all at once. My husband wanted the elephant to disappear. I did too. My kids especially despised the elephant in our lives. They wanted a puppy instead. They didn’t ask for the elephant, none of us did. But, we all lived with him. We learned to love him and feed him properly. We learned that if we didn’t do these things, he would surely sit on us and smother us to death.

Mostly, we learned as a family that God means all things for good through His grace and love. Loving an elephant is hard at times. I wonder if that’s how God may feel about us as well. I wonder how many other mothers are trying to figure out how to deal with their elephants?

Let’s find the source

waterfall“What do you think about ________?” My response to this question usually involves some form of circular reasoning or begging the question. Why do you seek my answer? Is your question loaded with bias? Is your goal contention or knowledge? Who am I to provide the answer? When one seeks wisdom, one must know the source from which it flows.

Water may flow abundantly or drip slowly one drop at a time. It dissipates and awaits. Water may be natural, filtered, or contaminated. Salty, chlorinated, or runoff. Nevertheless, it is water. It is life! The quest for water never ends nor do questions about life.

If I collect water, I must use a vessel. Much like collecting knowledge, I must know the source from which my water flows. I must ensure my vessel is made of high quality material because I want pure water for eternity.

If I collect water from a contaminated or chlorinated source, I need to filter it. I must trust the filtering process and the filter itself. If I collect runoff or rainwater, I must trust the source. If I collect ocean water, I must desalinate it. I must trust the cup, pot, and desalination process. I must trust myself and my decisions.

If I allow my vessel to overflow, what have I lost? If I place a lid on my vessel and never drink from it, what have I gained? If I don’t use or replace the filter, what have I accomplished? If I keep collecting contaminated water, what am I doing to myself?

If I drink contaminated water and I have no access to a quality vessel or water filter, how will I live? If I give away all my water to help others, what have I left for myself? If I allow my water to dissipate in the heat, how will I survive? If I lose my vessel, where will I be?

In an attempt to seek answers about health, spirituality, wellness, and serious issues of life, know the source from which you seek answers. Answers are not always wisdom. Wisdom comes to those who seek it from God. His wisdom can be applied to all areas of life. The source is where it all begins.

3As: AD/HD, Anxiety & Allergies: How Do I Help My Child?

image-how-do-i-help-my-childIf you are looking for answers to your child’s health and behavioral needs, allow me to introduce you to an innovative approach which puts your child at the center of his/her care. The goal of treatment is to discover underlying causes of illness and behavioral challenges to provide healing versus medicating symptoms. Continue reading

A Conflict Driven World Requires a Solution-Focused Society

conflict-resolution-imageIn a time when conflict abounds, surrounds, & confounds us, we must remain resolute. We have the power to choose chaos or peace. Freud described conflicting internal forces-which were later labeled as “Eros versus Thanatos” or “life versus death”- as innate life instincts. Eros leads us to procreate, survive, and focus on continuing life whereas Thanatos is self-destructive and potentially life-threatening. The biblical explanation of these internal conflicts takes us to the very beginning of sin with Adam & Eve – a.k.a.”sin nature.” Ask yourself a simple question, Continue reading

Food, Lies, & Love

food-lies-we-loveAre you ready to change your thoughts about food? I find myself struggling with the knowledge I have sought about food versus the knowledge I learned from teachers, the FDA, the Food Guide Pyramid, and the media. I learned to blindly trust “experts” and textbooks. I was a food & nutrition teacher and I perpetrated lies about food as truth. It must be a “Southern thing.”  Radicals, they are all radicals! It’s amazing how we use defense mechanisms (psycho-analytics) to avoid and deny alternative explanations and rational thoughts.  Continue reading

Need Answers?

image-how-do-i-help-my-childIf you are looking for answers to your child’s health and behavioral needs, allow me to introduce you to an innovative approach which puts your child at the center of his/her care. The goal of treatment is to discover underlying causes to provide healing versus medicating symptoms. Integrative medicine/functional medicine takes into consideration multiple variables which play a part in a child’s overall wellness. I boldly share my personal journey and years of experience researching alternative and safe treatment protocols in my first book, How Do I Help My Child? A Mother’s Mission. I hope it helps your child!